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18 May 2013 @ 07:21 pm
19 May 2013 @ 12:15 am
We were trying to determine when we did the "5 Bisexuals in a Micra" (as 
haggis called it, stressing since that there need not be five of them in the future or that they need to all be bisexual) road trip to Jodrell Bank last summer.
"It was after Eurovision,"indigopirate. "And before BiCon."
I am delighted at the mental calendar of holidays that this implies.
haggis called it, stressing since that there need not be five of them in the future or that they need to all be bisexual) road trip to Jodrell Bank last summer."It was after Eurovision,"
indigopirate. "And before BiCon."I am delighted at the mental calendar of holidays that this implies.
18 May 2013 @ 09:40 pm
Words: 1959
Total words: 40545
Files: 4
Tea: Blackberry, blueberry and acai
Music: First and Second Orchestral Suite
Reason for stopping: end of chapter 17
Look, 40 kwords, technically a novel! But in reality, not even half way.
Total words: 40545
Files: 4
Tea: Blackberry, blueberry and acai
Music: First and Second Orchestral Suite
Reason for stopping: end of chapter 17
Look, 40 kwords, technically a novel! But in reality, not even half way.
18 May 2013 @ 11:00 am
18 May 2013 @ 04:02 pm
18 May 2013 @ 01:40 pm
Do you have fears that kick your butt, for no apparent reason? I have quite a few. Most of them are leftovers from my first marriage, or at least fears that he 'improved' upon.
I just tackled one of those fears head-on today. And you know what? It wasn't nearly as difficult as the ex made it out to be. In fact, I'm kicking ass, currently, although it is a fairly basic project. (carving a ring in wax, in case you wanted to know) I figure a few more sessions, and this puppy will be ready to go.
Now I'm facing a building issue internally, and trying to deal with it. My fury. My fury with my ex, and how he lied to me on a consistent basis, and how I still find I believe the crap he told me. Yes, it's ridiculous. Yes, I've been out of that relationship for over twelve years. All I can say in my own defense, is if you have someone hit you repeatedly, you start cringing whenever someone happens to raise their hand. You feel foolish, you hate yourself, you want to beat the ex with a shovel...all of that goes through your head in milliseconds, and you still cringe. It's very hard not to do so.
I had to have a talk with Paul, just recently, to double-check that he's not bitter about where I'm going with my business, and Is he still proud of me? He was flabbergasted, and reassured me. I'm sure it becomes annoying to have to reassure, after ten years of marriage. However, I can't seem to keep myself from having those moments. Did I tell you, the first time I picked up a torch, I was shaking? Actually, more like the first dozen times. If someone screams at you, long enough and loud enough, you hear them in your head whether you like it or not. The only way I overcame that was through repetition. It didn't matter if I screwed up, I was trying. And on that, I have to say, screw Yoda's "there is no try, only do". You need permission to screw up six ways from Sunday, sometimes. Especially if you are conquering daemons in your head.
This isn't the first time I've worked with wax. This is about the fifth time. That's another point. The first time out, people are applauding. After a while, though, they wonder, "why is this still an issue?" It just is...until it isn't.
I think I need to confess. I think that will help me. Taking the job doing jewelry full-time scared the crap out of me. In fact, I didn't even really try very hard the first couple of years. I was terrified.
There. I've written it out. It's in print, and it's a good thing. I've had strong moments, and absolute cowardly-lion moments, but I've climbed up a long way.
But the rage is the current problem. I'm furious with my ex for being such a lazy jeweler. I'm really seeing it, in all it's glory now. Let me give you a life example. There's an ongoing joke, with my best friend, about the "Hummus". The ex made hummus for one of our studio shows, and it was really good. He made a big deal about how difficult it was, and how long it took him, and how he would only make hummus again if he was begged to do so.
Okay, go look up a recipe for hummus....it's a rather easy recipe, isn't it? Especially if you have a food processor, and aren't having to mash the chickpeas by hand. Hence, the ongoing joke. We often hold up a container of hummus, and start singing and chanting like monks.
The rage may stay for a while. I'm going to keep going. And I'll get past it, when I get past it. I'm going to keep slaying dragons as I find them. :)
I just tackled one of those fears head-on today. And you know what? It wasn't nearly as difficult as the ex made it out to be. In fact, I'm kicking ass, currently, although it is a fairly basic project. (carving a ring in wax, in case you wanted to know) I figure a few more sessions, and this puppy will be ready to go.
Now I'm facing a building issue internally, and trying to deal with it. My fury. My fury with my ex, and how he lied to me on a consistent basis, and how I still find I believe the crap he told me. Yes, it's ridiculous. Yes, I've been out of that relationship for over twelve years. All I can say in my own defense, is if you have someone hit you repeatedly, you start cringing whenever someone happens to raise their hand. You feel foolish, you hate yourself, you want to beat the ex with a shovel...all of that goes through your head in milliseconds, and you still cringe. It's very hard not to do so.
I had to have a talk with Paul, just recently, to double-check that he's not bitter about where I'm going with my business, and Is he still proud of me? He was flabbergasted, and reassured me. I'm sure it becomes annoying to have to reassure, after ten years of marriage. However, I can't seem to keep myself from having those moments. Did I tell you, the first time I picked up a torch, I was shaking? Actually, more like the first dozen times. If someone screams at you, long enough and loud enough, you hear them in your head whether you like it or not. The only way I overcame that was through repetition. It didn't matter if I screwed up, I was trying. And on that, I have to say, screw Yoda's "there is no try, only do". You need permission to screw up six ways from Sunday, sometimes. Especially if you are conquering daemons in your head.
This isn't the first time I've worked with wax. This is about the fifth time. That's another point. The first time out, people are applauding. After a while, though, they wonder, "why is this still an issue?" It just is...until it isn't.
I think I need to confess. I think that will help me. Taking the job doing jewelry full-time scared the crap out of me. In fact, I didn't even really try very hard the first couple of years. I was terrified.
There. I've written it out. It's in print, and it's a good thing. I've had strong moments, and absolute cowardly-lion moments, but I've climbed up a long way.
But the rage is the current problem. I'm furious with my ex for being such a lazy jeweler. I'm really seeing it, in all it's glory now. Let me give you a life example. There's an ongoing joke, with my best friend, about the "Hummus". The ex made hummus for one of our studio shows, and it was really good. He made a big deal about how difficult it was, and how long it took him, and how he would only make hummus again if he was begged to do so.
Okay, go look up a recipe for hummus....it's a rather easy recipe, isn't it? Especially if you have a food processor, and aren't having to mash the chickpeas by hand. Hence, the ongoing joke. We often hold up a container of hummus, and start singing and chanting like monks.
The rage may stay for a while. I'm going to keep going. And I'll get past it, when I get past it. I'm going to keep slaying dragons as I find them. :)
18 May 2013 @ 10:00 am
18 May 2013 @ 09:00 am
18 May 2013 @ 08:00 am
18 May 2013 @ 02:57 pm
Words: 2333
Total words: 38277
Files: 4
Tea: Gaba dragon
Music: Brandenburg Concertos, Suite no 2.
Reason for stopping: End of chapter 15.
Getting on with it.
Z pointed out last night that I hadn't really written anything for ages before this, and I was probably backed up, and I won't continue to produce novels at this speed. He's right of course, I had been fallow -- trying to write an AO sequel, and Beloved Enemy which I'd still like to write, and Turnover which I'm sorry to say I have actually given up on. But I am grateful for being able to do this. I love writing. Sonme writers don't, they like having written, but they don't actually enjoy the process of composing. I do. I like it of all things. I'd say my two favourite things to do are writing and having good conversations.
Total words: 38277
Files: 4
Tea: Gaba dragon
Music: Brandenburg Concertos, Suite no 2.
Reason for stopping: End of chapter 15.
Getting on with it.
Z pointed out last night that I hadn't really written anything for ages before this, and I was probably backed up, and I won't continue to produce novels at this speed. He's right of course, I had been fallow -- trying to write an AO sequel, and Beloved Enemy which I'd still like to write, and Turnover which I'm sorry to say I have actually given up on. But I am grateful for being able to do this. I love writing. Sonme writers don't, they like having written, but they don't actually enjoy the process of composing. I do. I like it of all things. I'd say my two favourite things to do are writing and having good conversations.
